Post by Wyldcomfort on Mar 4, 2007 23:25:18 GMT -5
I have been racking my brain over the last few days on this upcoming interview. Rather than just an article in a paper - I think this will be a story. The reporter has done an immense amount of work and research already and has spoken to many people on both sides of the fence. He wondered why I would attack a mom who lost their child, he thought I didn't feel there was a problem. It breaks my heart that Kyle Rabe and so many others have died. I clearly see there is a problem. The problem and the story are not one in the same in fact they are conflicting. Sue Rabe has become a spokesperson for the parents that have lost a child. She has had the forum to address the need for supervision. Maybe it is comforting to pass blame to the dealer, manufacturer, CPSC, etc and excuse the fact that so many of these children are riding unsupervised. It doesn't help to send us down a path to solve a problem when we dare not confront the most obvious cause because of sensitivities. If only she would have campaigned for the importance of supervising your children in all activities - all activities pose a danger. What I can't understand in all of this is why supervision is never pushed and in fact we have seen comments implying that supervision wouldn't save these kids. I believe, after reading the police report, that supervision would have saved Kyle.
Sometimes the truth isn't popular, but it is essential. This isn't about Sue... it is about learning from the events and fixing the problems. There is no quick fix to all of this. But we can't be sent down a road that clearly won't solve anything because we are afraid to hurt a grieving parent. My concern is for the children. Rather than focusing on Sues grief we need to focus on Kyle, James, Kimmy, Michael, Susan, Terry, Chad, Bob, Jake,and Jenny.
Let's talk about the blame game.... The dealer clearly made Sue aware of the dangers, the Consumer Product Safety Commission has been working diligently at making this product safer, the manufacturers plaster the ATVs with warning stickers, hand out safety information and videos, and actually pay you to take a safety course. What they can't do is put a helmet on your child's head, force them to take safety training, ride with them to insure their ability and discourage unsafe behavior - but most importantly, be with them to control the risk before there is an accident. They also can't remove an ATV from off of a child before they suffocate. They are doing everything they can to prevent death and injury but it is ultimately our responsibility as parents.
There are laws already in place regarding child endangerment and negligence, but we won't enforce it against a parent who has lost a child. Most feel that the loss is enough and generally I would feel the same way. But most parents accept responsibility, even when they could have done nothing to prevent their child's death, and rarely will a parent attack innocent people and pass blame.
I have been referenced as insensitive, even a cult leader. How cold hearted for me to "attack" a mother who has suffered such loss. But wouldn't it be morally wrong to let an injustice stand with the risk of more children dying? For the many of you who don't know me.....I love children very much and I share the heartbreak of tragedy very deeply. I will never forget my thirteen year old girlfriend who hit a tree while sledding on our church trip. Nor will I forget the pain for her mother having to take her off of life support - her only little girl. I will never forget the pain of losing my father when I was twenty after a lifetime of watching him die from the effects of medical malpractice. Or several years ago when the most traumatic of events happened to my oldest son's first grade teacher. Her son, daughter in law, and 18 month grandchild were in the car just in front of them headed home from great grandmas house -so they were first on the scene when a big truck went around a corner and fell on top of the car crushing it, killing the parents and entrapping their grandson. I visualize them there, trying to reach their children, hearing their grandchild cry and then stop. Now grandparents become parents and the only way that I knew to help was to watch this little boy while his grandma could finish working until she was eligible for retirement. I love that little boy as my own and they have become family to us. And the grief of another teacher here who was simply walking in the forest with his much loved son on a trip with his collage buddies. He was just a step ahead of his son when a tree fell on him - he will never forget the memory of his little tennis shoes. And the angelic little girl who wasn't quite old enough to be a girlscout in our group so we made her a daisy.... The most beautiful child for whom I have ever known. I still have her height marked on a wall that will never be painted. She had a virus, went to the doctor and sent home. Just the normal stuff we as parents go through with our kids except in the morning she was blue. They started CPR until our towns firemen could come and they took her to the local hospital where they inserted a breathing tube and sent her to Dornbeckers. Somehow on the way the tube came out and they were unable to reinsert it. Her mom was by her side unable to do anything. Life flight met the ambulance and got her to the hospital, more waiting, hoping.. We couldn't bear to go to the funeral, so instead my kids and I planted flowers of all kinds in their front yard to give them some comfort when they returned.
These are the families that I know and love who have suffered the most intense loss...and yet, even though there was no possible way that they could have saved their child, they live with constant blame and what ifs. There is nothing harder than trying to explain to a three year old at lunch time why his mom and dad are gone - where they went or have him in your cart at Walmart screaming for his mother because he thought he saw her on the security TV. Or my dearest friend who to this day lives the effects of her loss. There is such sadness in their lives, and sadness I share with them.
Life is so precious to me. I take my responsibility as a parent seriously. Kids don't come with owners manuals or warning stickers - sure we get some safety information here and there but no one forces us to read it. There is no excuse for a parent to claim they didn't know there is a risk....whether they refer to bath tubs, pools, fire, hot stoves, empty refrigerators, bikes, rivers, choking, child abduction, sexual abuse, traffic, and on down the line. How many nights did I sleep with one eye open because of the fear of sids. How many of those plastic outlet plugs and cabinet safety locks, baby gates, car seats, helmets have we purchased.... How many times do we tell our children NO to keep them safe? Countless. And what is the single most important thing we provide for our children - supervision. We are with them or we make dang sure they are with a responsible adult. When we don't, really bad things happen and we have no one but ourselves to blame. As a society we cannot condone the very serious risk posed by parents who are not taking this responsibility seriously.
So what should we do... we need to identify the problem, work as a team with all involved agencies to solve the problems, and be part of the solution. Our group is committed to doing just that and well beyond just putting a stop to Senate Bill 49. We will make a difference.....Lindy
Sometimes the truth isn't popular, but it is essential. This isn't about Sue... it is about learning from the events and fixing the problems. There is no quick fix to all of this. But we can't be sent down a road that clearly won't solve anything because we are afraid to hurt a grieving parent. My concern is for the children. Rather than focusing on Sues grief we need to focus on Kyle, James, Kimmy, Michael, Susan, Terry, Chad, Bob, Jake,and Jenny.
Let's talk about the blame game.... The dealer clearly made Sue aware of the dangers, the Consumer Product Safety Commission has been working diligently at making this product safer, the manufacturers plaster the ATVs with warning stickers, hand out safety information and videos, and actually pay you to take a safety course. What they can't do is put a helmet on your child's head, force them to take safety training, ride with them to insure their ability and discourage unsafe behavior - but most importantly, be with them to control the risk before there is an accident. They also can't remove an ATV from off of a child before they suffocate. They are doing everything they can to prevent death and injury but it is ultimately our responsibility as parents.
There are laws already in place regarding child endangerment and negligence, but we won't enforce it against a parent who has lost a child. Most feel that the loss is enough and generally I would feel the same way. But most parents accept responsibility, even when they could have done nothing to prevent their child's death, and rarely will a parent attack innocent people and pass blame.
I have been referenced as insensitive, even a cult leader. How cold hearted for me to "attack" a mother who has suffered such loss. But wouldn't it be morally wrong to let an injustice stand with the risk of more children dying? For the many of you who don't know me.....I love children very much and I share the heartbreak of tragedy very deeply. I will never forget my thirteen year old girlfriend who hit a tree while sledding on our church trip. Nor will I forget the pain for her mother having to take her off of life support - her only little girl. I will never forget the pain of losing my father when I was twenty after a lifetime of watching him die from the effects of medical malpractice. Or several years ago when the most traumatic of events happened to my oldest son's first grade teacher. Her son, daughter in law, and 18 month grandchild were in the car just in front of them headed home from great grandmas house -so they were first on the scene when a big truck went around a corner and fell on top of the car crushing it, killing the parents and entrapping their grandson. I visualize them there, trying to reach their children, hearing their grandchild cry and then stop. Now grandparents become parents and the only way that I knew to help was to watch this little boy while his grandma could finish working until she was eligible for retirement. I love that little boy as my own and they have become family to us. And the grief of another teacher here who was simply walking in the forest with his much loved son on a trip with his collage buddies. He was just a step ahead of his son when a tree fell on him - he will never forget the memory of his little tennis shoes. And the angelic little girl who wasn't quite old enough to be a girlscout in our group so we made her a daisy.... The most beautiful child for whom I have ever known. I still have her height marked on a wall that will never be painted. She had a virus, went to the doctor and sent home. Just the normal stuff we as parents go through with our kids except in the morning she was blue. They started CPR until our towns firemen could come and they took her to the local hospital where they inserted a breathing tube and sent her to Dornbeckers. Somehow on the way the tube came out and they were unable to reinsert it. Her mom was by her side unable to do anything. Life flight met the ambulance and got her to the hospital, more waiting, hoping.. We couldn't bear to go to the funeral, so instead my kids and I planted flowers of all kinds in their front yard to give them some comfort when they returned.
These are the families that I know and love who have suffered the most intense loss...and yet, even though there was no possible way that they could have saved their child, they live with constant blame and what ifs. There is nothing harder than trying to explain to a three year old at lunch time why his mom and dad are gone - where they went or have him in your cart at Walmart screaming for his mother because he thought he saw her on the security TV. Or my dearest friend who to this day lives the effects of her loss. There is such sadness in their lives, and sadness I share with them.
Life is so precious to me. I take my responsibility as a parent seriously. Kids don't come with owners manuals or warning stickers - sure we get some safety information here and there but no one forces us to read it. There is no excuse for a parent to claim they didn't know there is a risk....whether they refer to bath tubs, pools, fire, hot stoves, empty refrigerators, bikes, rivers, choking, child abduction, sexual abuse, traffic, and on down the line. How many nights did I sleep with one eye open because of the fear of sids. How many of those plastic outlet plugs and cabinet safety locks, baby gates, car seats, helmets have we purchased.... How many times do we tell our children NO to keep them safe? Countless. And what is the single most important thing we provide for our children - supervision. We are with them or we make dang sure they are with a responsible adult. When we don't, really bad things happen and we have no one but ourselves to blame. As a society we cannot condone the very serious risk posed by parents who are not taking this responsibility seriously.
So what should we do... we need to identify the problem, work as a team with all involved agencies to solve the problems, and be part of the solution. Our group is committed to doing just that and well beyond just putting a stop to Senate Bill 49. We will make a difference.....Lindy